Canucks 25/26 Season Post Mortem and look ahead.

[Hockey Widow]

Looking ahead, Bluegar says it would be an honour to be part of the Canucks when they turn it around and start having success. He wants to be here. I’m all for re-signing him 3-4 years but with limited trade protection and reasonable cap. Don’t know what that is though but 3 or less.

[Madcombinepilot]

Dear Diary:
“Watching the last home game of 2026 in those sick black jerseys. The matte black finish in the helmets is amazing. Reminds me of the dubbed over versions of Knight Rider when I was growing up. I can’t wait for this team to compete in front of our fans, show them what the future looks like!

… alas, team is now 32 minutes into the game and has crawled all the way up to 4 shots. I am drinking more whiskey and my mind is starting to obsess with morbid thoughts like ‘this team could potentially be worse than ANYONE ever thought’… At the ‘4:20’ mark of the second period, the team was at 3 shots and I believed 5 more shots this game could be seen as improvement… the 1 shot in the last 10 minutes.. well, my hope is fading”

-Patrick Allvin

[Madcombinepilot]

Dear Diary,
“Sassones (a jumped up AHL player no other team knows or cares about, but our local media still thinks he is a home developed god of ice) just scored on our 5th shot of the game. I shall sleep with a rested soul and sound dream as I know the future is secured”

-Patrick Allvin

[Madcombinepilot]

Dear Diary:

“The team got a shot AANNDD a rebound with under 10 seconds to go in the second period! Up to 7 shots through 30 minutes! 2 shots in 3 seconds is exciting stuff! I feel I could do more to create a team next year -or perhaps the year after that- which could produce that kind of excitement ever 3 to 4 games!

I must ponder these obtuse thoughts.. they are more confusing than puberty in the frozen mountains of my homeland of Sweden…”

-Patrick Allvin

{note: 7 shots through 40 minutes is exhausting- must evaluate}

[Meds]

Dear Diary:

I feel like I've really established myself this year. It has been a great bounce back campaign, I cannot wait to get through these last 5 games so I can head to to California to start working on my brand with the wife.

I think I might be able to convince Patrik to let me skip the exit interviews and season-end media availability.

I've blocked more shots than they expected me to when I signed the contract, so really what more can they ask for?

-EP

[Madcombinepilot]

Dear Diary:

“Lots of entries here tonight, but it’s amazing that I have someone who listens. You might be my bestest friend in the world. Even when mommy would give us cookies and ice cream before bed, she didn’t listen like you do!

So I am excited that we have 8 shots through 2 periods! This is so much excitement, I might have to wear a condom (just in case! - you just have to remember what mommy always said about wearing clean underwear!)

It’s so amazing to know that with this kind of improvement period over period that my job is secure.

I am sitting on the edge of my seat eating the second half of the hotdog my boss didn’t eat at the arena! I’ll make sure I do one last entry before I tuck myself into bed tonight!”

- Patrik Allvin

[Meds]

Dear Diary:

After finishing my half of the hotdog, and a warm glass of reindeer milk, I am considering resigning at the end of this season because I have heard there is a job opening in Toronto that, based upon my last 2 seasons of work in Vankhoouver, I would be very well suited for.

-Patrik

[Madcombinepilot]

Dear Diary:

“This third period might read more like the blogs I used to write on MySpace. This period started out with a massive disappointment, as the stats department took away a shot, so we began the last period with only 7 shots. That number is ok because I remember earlier in the season, last fall, when we last had 7 shots in the first 2 periods and then scored 5 times in the 3rd period… good times, good times… I like it when the arena guy says “WHOOO!!!” When the team scores. Whoever thought of that was a genius.

The development of this team this year has been amazing. No team can dangle into the corner to kill all offence like my Vancouver Canucks. The team is 5 minutes into the 3rd period and we are not registering any shots. It is a clinic of what a lack of skill and caring looks like. A 9 shot game with a 3-1 winning score is still potential. We shall rekindle the ‘PDO’ killer ID we had a few years ago. I strive for that kind of ‘paper tiger’ team.

OMG!! 13 minutes into the 3rd period and we still have no new shots! I totally rewarded myself with ice cream (I brought it from home) and poutine from the concourse! I met a wonderful older lady - she was at least 33 years old- who was commiserating about the ‘golden years’ when this team won president trophies and was ‘fun to watch’.. she has no idea how hard it is to design a team that actually gets along behind closed doors and makes the playoffs.. or the suffering of a 30+ years old suffering of a lifelong fan. She should learn..Sometimes I feel that true and real highly educated fans that critically think and remember the past are harder and harder to find. Too many of them read the media (that we pay for) and are so negative..

5 minutes left into the game. Team is at 8 shots. No rational human can argue the growth of this team any longer. If I didn’t have the mentorship of old man Jim, I have no idea how I could have accomplished this feat of engineering. Can anyone imagine what would have happened if the team was actually entertaining and got 25 or 30 shots a game?? As it is, we have the best young goalie in the league (I bet the local media could convince the world he is worth another 4th round pick!!!).. I am so impressed with group I have so diligently assembled. I have such great faith in this group of amazing men. They have already got the 1st shot of the period and still have 159 seconds to get another which guarantees the growth!

OMG!! They are plying ABBA on the commercial break!!! I am so glad I put the condom on! Mom was right! AND WE ARE AT 9 shots! YAY for job security! (I didn’t see the actual shot, I was engrossed in playing Stratego by myself- and I lost)

…

The wait delay is because the game ended. It was almost exciting at the end. We got a shot on the PP (And Adam pulled our goalie - out of habit!- so it was 6 on 4 !??! - we should have been penalized for too many men - and I like the ‘penal’ in ‘penalized’).. so coaches want to play ‘low event hockey’ and I think they are right. I want to excel at ‘NO event hockey’ it is the way of the future.

Thanks mom for making me wear condoms to keep my underwear clear (those stories about hospitals are all wrong)
Thanks team for ‘No event’ hockey
Thanks fans for showing up and having nothing to cheer about
Thanks security crew for remembering I pay the cheques and letting me sneak in ice cream to have my poutine with
Thanks Arena Guy for playing ABBA! (Umm.. highlight reel.. anyone see me dance to that? - TSN turning point right there!)
.. And thank you my bestest friend, Mr. diary”

-Patrik Allvin

[Cookie La Rue]

hey MCP, you must be dreaming about PA all night. If good or bad, be sure to wear a condom.

[Madcombinepilot]

hey MCP, you must be dreaming about PA all night. If good or bad, be sure to wear a condom.

lol. I had insomnia and couldn’t sleep. I feel bad for the people who paid money to watch that. If I would have been there, the last 2 periods would have been chants of “shoot the puck” and “sell the team”.

Embarrassing

[Tciso]

I found my new coach for next year. Its blue. My AI told me blue is our color. I believe I can match GROKoach 1.1 with ChatGM v2.3 into a successful 31st overall finish next season.

[Cousin Strawberry]

Comby are the summer snowfalls getting to you bro?

I read it in Eminem's voice if that helps