GDT: Canucks vs History - Draft Lottery Edition, 5:00pm May 8, SNP

[Picker of Cherries]

I’m on a two game winning streak. I’ve never been on a winning streak before. My head is spinning with the possibility. Does this mean…

I better post the litany just to cool my jets.

The Litany
1970 - Lose draft lottery wheel spin and miss out on Gilbert Perreault.
1972 - No lottery for NHL’s worst team, the Canucks. They don’t pick first over all. Expansion Atlanta Flames and New York Islanders get top two picks.
1974 - Wayne Maki dies from brain cancer.
1980 - Rick Vaive and Bill Derlago traded away for Tiger Williams and Jerry Butler.
1982 - Harold Snepts passes up the middle to Mike Bossy.
1984 - Canucks draft JJ Daigneaut 10th OA and watch him hobble to the stage on crutches.
1984 - Canucks hire Bill LaForge.
1986 - Trade Cam Neely and the third pick overall (Glen Wesley) for Barry Pederson.
1989 - Stan Smyl misses at game seven OT break away. Joel Otto kicks in puck and Flames go on to win the Stanley Cup.
1989 - Canucks draft Jason Herter in the first round. He plays in one NHL game.
1992 - Canucks draft Libor Polasek in the first round. He never plays in the NHL.
1994 - Nathan Lafayette hits the post.
1997 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
1997 - Sign Mark Messier who wears Wayne Maki’s number 11.
1997 - Hire noted Canuck hater Mike Keenan as head coach (see Momesso stick swinging clip for verification).
1998 - John McCaw/Orca Bay and corporate logo arrive.
1999 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
2002 - Nicklas Lidstrom scores on Dan Cloutier.
2004 - Todd Bertuzzi suckers Steve Moore
2005 - Canucks fail to win post lock-out open draft lottery for Crosby and select Luc Bourdon (RIP).
2006 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
2007 - Brent Sopel picks up a cracker.
2007 - Canucks draft Patrick White in the first round. He never plays in the NHL.
2008 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
2009 - Tom Gaglardi and Ryan Beedie lose Supreme Court case.
2010 - Sami Salo finishes defining injury proneness by rupturing testicle.
2011 - 7uongo fails to get tires pumped and falls flat. It’s a riot.
2014 - Tortorella starts Lack in Heritage Classic.
2014 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
2014 - Canucks hire Jim Benning.
2016 - Sign Loui Eriksson.
2016 - NHL loosens up draft lottery rules. Canucks drop two spots in draft lottery.
2017 - Canucks drop three spots after draft lottery.
2018 - Canucks drop one spot after draft lottery.
2019 - Canucks drop one spot after draft lottery.
2020 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
2021 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
2021 - Trade for OEL and Garland.
2022 - Failed to move up in draft lottery.
2022 - Management spends all cap space on wingers, ignoring defence - results in historically bad PK, defence, and Boudreau scapegoating.
2023 - League tightens up lottery rules a little so only two teams can move up a maximum of ten spots.
2023 - Canucks go on a season ending tear to get the lowest possible odds at winning the first overall draft pick.

[Carl Yagro]

Great list!

But that is barely scratching the surface of 53 years of Canucks futility

[Strangelove]

Great list!

But that is barely scratching the surface of 53 years of Canucks futility

Maybe the Earth was destroyed by an asteroid in 1970 and we're all in hell.

[Cousin Strawberry]

It'll be a storybook ending this draft when they defy all odds to win it all.

The harder the climb,

The greater the reward

-Sir Cuzmund Strawbillary

[SKYO]

It'll be a storybook ending this draft when they defy all odds to win it all.

The harder the climb,

The greater the reward

-Sir Cuzmund Strawbillary

Be one of the sweetest revenges of all history, as all the vancouver media was blasting the team for winning.

[Picker of Cherries]

Time changes one hour later to 5:00 pm.
Bill Daly must need an extra hour to rig the lottery.

[Megaterio Llamas]

The Hockey Guy and the misses going live for the punishment:

[Megaterio Llamas]

hometown: Lynn Valley BC

[Picker of Cherries]

Chi or Ana - damn
Canucks fail to move up - shocking.

[Picker of Cherries]

Chicago knows how to tank. Fuckers!

[Megaterio Llamas]

Well at least we didn't slide down for once

[Cornuck]

I consider that a win - we didn't drop.

And.... Arizona didn't get 1st - another win.

As for Chicago... that was almost a given.

Watching the lottery on ESPN - they took a break into the Vegas/Edm game, and announced during THAT telecast that Columbus had dropped to 3rd. Then eventually after more pre-game crap, commercials, and then more pre-game crap, they announced the 3rd pick

[Picker of Cherries]

I consider that a win - we didn't drop.

And.... Arizona didn't get 1st - another win.

As for Chicago... that was almost a given.

Watching the lottery on ESPN - they took a break into the Vegas/Edm game, and announced during THAT telecast that Columbus had dropped to 3rd. Then eventually after more pre-game crap, commercials, and then more pre-game crap, they announced the 3rd pick

I saw that. It’s all tape delayed just like Putin’s live announcement. Reeks of corruption. Daly bends us over again.

[Picker of Cherries]

Well at least we didn't slide down for once

It only cost the Canucks $50,000 not to fall back in the draft. Fuckers!

[Megaterio Llamas]

Well at least we didn't slide down for once

It only cost the Canucks $50,000 not to fall back in the draft. Fuckers!

if you're not gettin' fined, you're not training hard enough - Rick Tocchet