The Great Jim Benning Debate! (And personal insult thread)

[Cousin Strawberry]

Fuck dude you should've worked in comedy somewhere. Contracting is such a waste of your talents

[Blob Mckenzie]

Jesus Christ I got some responding to do later

[Strangelove]

LMAO Dude!

And here I thought Rock Hudson was "The Pyle Driver"...

[Mickey107]

[Blob Mckenzie]

Keep in mind the history here. This was pre incident at Britannia Rink and took place at the YMCA fitness club in East Van in the early to mid 80’s. A much younger Chef was working out at the club when he noticed NHL players Mike Gillis and Ken Holland working out. The Chef has his spandex tights and Terry Cloth shirt on and was working cup a good sweat. He had decent biceps and a beautiful black thick flowing mullet much like a young John Stamos. The Chef concentrated on his upper body more and liked to max out his bench press. His legs were another story- they looked like broom handles to be quite frank. Holland made a comment that the kid should put some ‘shake & bake on his thighs’. Gillis chimed in saying he’d ‘seen better legs in a bucket of KFC’... the Chef was a bit upset but undeterred in his quest to get stronger by working out. The NHLer’s made a couple more snide remarks about his stringy chicken thighs and the Chef had had enough.

As he left the gym the Chef ran into a familiar face Raphael Rottenknob who was a cousin of the Chef’s sometimes gal pal Rosie Rottencrotch. Raphael had seen the exchange at the gym and offered to take the Chef to the Astoria for a pitcher of beer. They had a couple of pitchers and then Raphael invited the Chef up to his room. He flipped on the TV and the Andy Griffiths Show was on. The Chef loved the Gomer Pyle character played by Jim Nabors. He and Raphael proceeded to smoke rock and Raphael also was mixing another cocktail of battery acid and ammonia for god knows what. Raphael suggested that the Chef learn some self defence tactics. He showed him a Full Nelson hold, half Nelson and then a Father Nelson hold which aroused the Chef. The next thing he knew Raphael had putt the acid mix onto the top of his dome and the poor Chef had his spandex ripped in the ass. He was overpowered by the much stronger Raphael and was being fiercely violated when Rosie walked in and smashed a magnum of Lonesome Charlie over Rpahael’s dome which triggered a wild brawl. The Chef managed to crow hop out of the Astoria on his razor thin legs and stumble down to the Patrica.

As the Chef licked his wounds in the Pat, he ran into a strapping blond female police officer named Anne. He always trusted Anne and they walked to Oppenheimer Park where the Chef asked if he could see her nightstick. Anne obliged but then suddenly she see the nightstick on the Chef’s exposed bottom. He managed to escape her clutches when he ran into another familiar face in Gillian. She was a sexy sultry old cougar with lips that looked like she blew a bee hive. She went to town on the Chef’s tiny third leg and he saw the stars, the sun and the moon. As she dropped him off at Pigeon Park - she said I guess it wasn’t leg day today. An enraged Chef was sick and tired about people picking on his lack of leg development.

The Chef caught a cab back to North Van with a now permanent skullet for a hair do due to Raphael’s acid mix, spandex with the ass out and a few cuts and bruises. He saw a mountain bike queen named Michelle D. She was a tall muscular “gal” with an Adam’s apple which he found odd. She invited the Chef to go riding on a tandem bike with her and they pedalled into the forest. As she slid closer to the Chef he wondered if that was a banana pressing up against him.

He vowed to get Mike Gillis and Ken Holland.


Never forget

[Cousin Strawberry]

Still have to give the crown to the Chef though...his prose flows

[Blob Mckenzie]

Still have to give the crown to the Chef though...his prose flows

Twas edited.

But yeah the Chef had a doozie for sure

[Cousin Strawberry]

Still have to give the crown to the Chef though...his prose flows

Twas edited.

But yeah the Chef had a doozie for sure

The edit makes it a much closer contest

Chef...your response?

[Strangelove]

As the Chef licked his wounds...

[Cousin Strawberry]

As the Chef licked his wounds...

Slowly while making eye contact

[Chef Boi RD]

Keep in mind the history here. This was pre incident at Britannia Rink and took place at the YMCA fitness club in East Van in the early to mid 80’s. A much younger Chef was working out at the club when he noticed NHL players Mike Gillis and Ken Holland working out. The Chef has his spandex tights and Terry Cloth shirt on and was working cup a good sweat. He had decent biceps and a beautiful black thick flowing mullet much like a young John Stamos. The Chef concentrated on his upper body more and liked to max out his bench press. His legs were another story- they looked like broom handles to be quite frank. Holland made a comment that the kid should put some ‘shake & bake on his thighs’. Gillis chimed in saying he’d ‘seen better legs in a bucket of KFC’... the Chef was a bit upset but undeterred in his quest to get stronger by working out. The NHLer’s made a couple more snide remarks about his stringy chicken thighs and the Chef had had enough.

As he left the gym the Chef ran into a familiar face Raphael Rottenknob who was a cousin of the Chef’s sometimes gal pal Rosie Rottencrotch. Raphael had seen the exchange at the gym and offered to take the Chef to the Astoria for a pitcher of beer. They had a couple of pitchers and then Raphael invited the Chef up to his room. He flipped on the TV and the Andy Griffiths Show was on. The Chef loved the Gomer Pyle character played by Jim Nabors. He and Raphael proceeded to smoke rock and Raphael also was mixing another cocktail of battery acid and ammonia for god knows what. Raphael suggested that the Chef learn some self defence tactics. He showed him a Full Nelson hold, half Nelson and then a Father Nelson hold which aroused the Chef. The next thing he knew Raphael had putt the acid mix onto the top of his dome and the poor Chef had his spandex ripped in the ass. He was overpowered by the much stronger Raphael and was being fiercely violated when Rosie walked in and smashed a magnum of Lonesome Charlie over Rpahael’s dome which triggered a wild brawl. The Chef managed to crow hop out of the Astoria on his razor thin legs and stumble down to the Patrica.

As the Chef licked his wounds in the Pat, he ran into a strapping blond female police officer named Anne. He always trusted Anne and they walked to Oppenheimer Park where the Chef asked if he could see her nightstick. Anne obliged but then suddenly she see the nightstick on the Chef’s exposed bottom. He managed to escape her clutches when he ran into another familiar face in Gillian. She was a sexy sultry old cougar with lips that looked like she blew a bee hive. She went to town on the Chef’s tiny third leg and he saw the stars, the sun and the moon. As she dropped him off at Pigeon Park - she said I guess it wasn’t leg day today. An enraged Chef was sick and tired about people picking on his lack of leg development.

The Chef caught a cab back to North Van with a now permanent skullet for a hair do due to Raphael’s acid mix, spandex with the ass out and a few cuts and bruises. He saw a mountain bike queen named Michelle D. She was a tall muscular “gal” with an Adam’s apple which he found odd. She invited the Chef to go riding on a tandem bike with her and they pedalled into the forest. As she slid closer to the Chef he wondered if that was a banana pressing up against him.

He vowed to get Mike Gillis and Ken Holland.


Never forget

not bad Hargraves. Not bad

[Meds]

Ok. That made for a good laugh on a lazy Sunday at work.

.....managed to crow hop out of the Astoria...

GOLD!

[Cornuck]

Nice to see this thread has evolved into CC fan fiction.

Well played, gentlemen.

[Megaterio Llamas]

This is excellent. Reads a lot like a would be Mickey Spillane novel had Mickey been into trannies and battery acid baths.

[Madcombinepilot]

Lol!!

Two if the best bullshitters in the biz just exchanged right there.

Funny as hell!